i cried a bit today.

I want to scream.
This is too much.
How can my dreams
cause such a fuss?
Why won't you let me
pursue what I want?
Why must I prove
that I'm good enough?
Can't you see passion?
I have it inside.
Just give me this chance,
I won't be denied.
Until I'm accepted
relentless, I'll be
for never will I let you
ruin my dream.

unexpected busyness.

so definitely got the wrong impression that things would start winding down about now. I figured after prom, everything would be easy going, nothing to worry about.

unfortunately life doesn't stop for me the way I seem to think it would.

now I feel just as busy as ever, and life seems to be barrelling down on me faster than ever.

welcome to reality, again, Jason.

first bite.

As I scrape the warm, freshly-baked cookie off of the hot, silvery cookie sheet with a cool, silvery spatula, I can hardly contain my anticipation. The very sight of that peanut butter cookie sends a direct shot through my cornea straight to my saliva glands, telling them: "Get ready for the good stuff!" My hands seems to ignore the temperature of the cookie as I lift it slowly toward my mouth. My teeth open gradually, allowing just enough space for the cooking to fit. My tongue rises to greet it, eagerly awaiting the taste and dually controlling the amount to enter. As I relax my arm, the cookie bends, and my lips tighten to bear the load. My teeth reunite as they pierce the dough and peanuts, creating a rush of flavor as they go. I close my eyes to take in the goodness. Suddenly, my whole life seems at ease. Nothing exists but that cookie and me. As I grind the cookie into digestible bits, my mind is exploding with enjoyment. Taking a careful gulp, the cookie is beyond my taste, and I can hardly wait for the next bite.

earth day.

today was beautiful.

I realized today how much I love the smell of outside. like, I finally recognized that it has it's own distinct smell and I really like it.

it reminds me off all the great times I've spent outside at camp and at the lake and on sidewalks and on trees.

it reminds me of how beautiful God made everything.

today I learned

that 70 percent of kids in third grade have a television in their room.

this sickens me.
where is society going? televisions are hardly worth anything these days, they are full of crap, and children should learn and explore when they are young. not watch hannah montana.

sorry. pet peeve. my children are definitely not having a tv in their room. not when they are in third grade, at least. of course we probably won't even have tv by then.

anywho, just my thoughts.

there's something addicting..

being onstage last night was one of the best nights of my life. like ever. and will ever be. there's something so freeing and amazing and enjoyable about going out on a stage in front of 600-700+ people and just being yourself and having people laugh and have a good time.

with that power in my hand, I feel so good. not like selfish like I'm glad they like me. but rather I'm glad that I could bring joy to so many people! (and that I didn't hear any crickets..)

I wish I could do that every weekend.
but then again, that's a lot of pressure. not that this event wasn't.

I guess maybe now I'm considering stage life? forget stage fright, I want to do it for everyone else. but what am I going to be? a comedian? a pianist? an emcee? a public speaker? I don't know. maybe this is crazy talk and I'm just still on a high from last night.

whatever it is. laughter is such a beautiful thing.

2nd runner up.

omgosh I can believe it's already over.
man, definately had the time of my life on stage.

dang.
that's all i can say.

thank you all who helped!