video killed the photo album.

today I realized that there will be another major media for my children and grandchildren to see what I was like when I was young.

video.

think about all the videos on youtube, or facebook, or just on your camera. and think of your children watching them. I don't know it seems kinda weird and kinda cool at the same time. cause then they can see that I was just a regular kid like them (or a complete weirdo) but at the same time do I want them to see that?

I don't know. it's kinda hard to describe my apprehension toward the concept. I guess it just kinda feels like there's less for me to tell and more for me to show to my children. oh man - "show don't tell" great, thanks mr. mercer.

either way, it'll make a good family night someday to sit down and watch my old mr. millard west tapes. gosh that day is going to be so embarrassing.

homaha.

so today I fell in love with omaha. if you can do such a thing.

it's weird though, because I've lived here my whole life. well kinda, millard doesn't really count as omaha, mostly because it's just nothing more than suburbia. but today anna, candace, landon, and I went downtown and shot some footage for mr. millard west and I realized how cool this city really is.

like the next time the thought 'omaha is so boring' pops in my mind, I am driving downtown and just walking around. it's amazing what you can find. I definately on my list for this summer is to spend much more time downtown.

and hopefully by then I'll have a sweet camera and I can totally show you how much I love this place.

but for now, these petty words will have to suffice.

(and this cool pic I found on google.)

this counts as sunday's post.

one of my favorite things about life, is that everything has meaning to someone.

like, for instance, Candace and I watched 'Word Wars' tonight, about national Scrabble tournaments. and sure, to most people Scrabble is just a living room game, but to others it is their life. same can be true for ping pong, singing, or eating hot dogs.

there is nothing in this world that has no meaning, I guess it was I am trying to get across. why else would there be a world record for the longest time balancing a car on one's head? to somebody that means something.

so I suppose whenever you think something is dumb, remember it's not dumb to someone.
my philosophical thoughts for the night.

immortal beloved

Ludwig van Beethoven: What do you think? Music is... a dreadful thing. What is it? I don't understand it. What does it mean?

Anton Felix Schindler: It - it exalts the soul.

Ludwig van Beethoven: Utter nonsense. If you hear a marching band, is your soul exalted? No, you march. If you hear a waltz, you dance. If you hear a mass, you take communion. It is the power of music to carry one directly into the mental state of the composer. The listener has no choice. It is like hypnotism. So, now... What was in my mind when I wrote this? Hmm? A man is trying to reach his lover. His carriage has broken down in the rain. The wheels stuck in the mud. She will only wait so long. This... is the sound of his agitation. "This is how it is... ," the music is saying. "Not how you are used to being. Not how you are used to thinking. But like this."


mmm, new favorite movie.
it is beautiful.

1-on-1

I really like conversing with people, I do. it can be a real good time.

but when you have to talk with someone you haven't talked to for a while (if ever), things just seem to get so awkward. like, sure you're trying to be nice and courteous and learn everything that has happened in that person's life since you last met them, but whenever I'm in that situation, my mind always seems to gallivant off to thoughts of "hmm, how can I get out of this conversation?"

not that I don't in joy it, it just seems awkward. and I don't know why. I guess it's because I haven't interacted with the person for a while, so I'm not remembering completely how to interact with that person. so I look for an exit.

then, inevitably, I will about a half hour after the conversation think "oh, I should have asked this, or said that" then I feel bad for ending the chat when I did.

oh well, I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.
orrr maybe I should work on my social skills.

fence sitting.

I never noticed,
not until now
how soft you hair feels to my touch

it's strange, the days
gone by since we met
and I never noticed how you heal my heart

I know you well,
it seems not by chance
you are all that I yearn for in life

how will I feel
if I never say
and act as though I never noticed?

void.

so tonight was the honors recital. I wore my new shirt :-).

it was the most crazy thing that I've ever experienced, though. I'd practiced my song enough times that I could play it easily. so when I went out there I wasn't too concerned about what I was going to play. I cleared everything from my mind, to concentrate on the music. I wanted to experience this.

oddly enough though I seemed to clear absolutely everything from my mind. I honestly don't remember thinking anything while I was sitting there on that piano bench. nothing but crap where I am when I messed up on my song. I played like a robot.

no thoughts. I don't know, it was weird.